


Promises kept

by theflyinganonymouse



Category: VIXX
Genre: Allusions to past child abuse, Gen, M/M, Poverty, Prostitution, Things are bad, and some blood, but they get better ???, hakyeon worries, small bits of violence, taekwoon loves his boys, they're all just kids, wonshik tries really hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 18:44:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13440942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyinganonymouse/pseuds/theflyinganonymouse
Summary: Taekwoon comes home bruised and brittle.(Or the one where Hakyeon and Taekwoon are kids just trying to make ends meet. Jaehwan wants to go to college. Hongbin rips his trousers, Sanghyuk's feet finally get too big and Wonshik... Wonshik just wants to help his family.)





	Promises kept

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote 99.8% of this months and months ago- my first real Vixx fic. I re-read it tonight and finished off the last little bits and think its finally ready to be posted. 
> 
> The contents are quite dark/depressing but I hope the ending offers some kind of hope. Please let me know what you think!

Taekwoon comes home bruised and brittle.

“Where have you been?” Hakyeon snaps, not looking up from the crumpled bills he has spread out on the table in front of him. Wonshik has watched him count them a hundred times over and come up short every time. “You were supposed to- what’s this?”

There’s a small wad of cash in Taekwoon’s shaking fist and he’s holding it out for Hakyeon to grab.

Wonshik watches as Hakyeon slowly takes the money, sees the way Hakyeon’s eye rake up and down Taekwoon’s trembling body without understanding what he’s looking for, and he gasps along with their eldest as he counts the notes.

“Taek…” Hakyeon says. “There’s a hundred and fifty thousand won here. Where did you get this?”

“Is it enough?” Wonshik asks.

Hakyeon looks caught somewhere between disbelief and sobbing. He counts Taekwoon’s money again and then the money on the table before looking at the letter on the table, the one threatening to cut their power off if they don’t pay their bill.

“Is it enough?” Wonshik asks again, frustration welling in his chest because Hakyeon is the oldest and the best at math so he must already know.

“Yeah.” Hakyeon nods. “Just.”

Taekwoon disappears into the bathroom then and it isn’t long before they hear the shower running.

“Where do you think he got the money from?” Wonshik asks.

“I don’t know.” Hakyeon tells him.

It’s okay for a little while after that. Their electricity doesn’t get cut off and they still have hot water and just enough food in their bellies that they don’t starve and it’s okay. And it’s okay and Wonshik doesn’t think about it too much until it isn’t.

It’s a few weeks later and they’re out of cash again. Hongbin’s torn his only good pair of trousers, the only pair he has for school, and Sanghyuk’s shoes are finally at the point of being so small that they’re crippling him and they just don’t have enough money to buy replacements for either of them when they’re already behind on rent for their tiny studio apartment and struggling to afford food.

“You’re growing too quick, Sanghyuk.” Hakyeon tries to joke but Wonshik can still see the worry on his face. “It’s hard to keep up.”

“It’s not my fault.” Sanghyuk crosses his arms across his chest and glares. “I can’t stop myself from growing.”

“No, I know.” Hakyeon tries to soothe him by hugging him but Sanghyuk just shrugs him off. Wonshik snorts because Sanghyuk is thirteen now and any kind of affection from Hakyeon is embarrassing and unwanted. “We just- we don’t have enough money at the moment to-.”

“They hurt!” Sanghyuk cuts him off. “I can’t wear them anymore!”

“You can borrow my sneakers.” Wonshik offers. They’re too big for Sanghyuk and at the point of falling apart but Wonshik thinks they’re better than nothing even if it means he’ll have nothing to wear himself. Not that that matters too much because Wonshik doesn’t _really_ have anywhere to go- he’d been suspended from school earlier in the week for fighting. “They still have a bit of life left in them.”

“He needs shoes.” Hakyeon says with the softest of sighs. “Thank you, Wonshik, but he needs shoes, really. His school is stricter than yours.”

Sanghyuk and Hongbin go to the nice school across town. They have to take the bus to get there and back and Hakyeon and Taekwoon are always scrabbling about trying to find fare for them. Wonshik isn’t jealous, doesn’t mind that he has to go to the school a couple of blocks away with the rest of the kids from their neighbourhood, but he knows Jaehwan is. Jaehwan has dreams of college and a successful career whereas all Wonshik wants to do is graduate so he can get a job and help out with the bills.

“Then what are you going to do?” Wonshik is as blunt and loud as always and it makes Hongbin and Jaehwan look up from the corner they’ve squirreled themselves away in. “Hongbin needs new trousers, rent is already two weeks overdue and-.”

“And I’m hungry.” Sanghyuk cuts in.

“I don’t get paid until next week.” Hakyeon seems to fold in on himself. “Taekwoon, is there anything left from your wage?”

“I took the last of it to buy last night’s dinner.” Wonshik says, defensively. Taekwoon works ten hour days in a factory by the river and the wage he brings home at the end of each week is usually gone within a couple of days. “I didn’t know Hongbin was going to shred his trousers or Sanghyuk’s feet were finally going to get too big.”

Sanghyuk’s stomach growls.

“I’m hungry.” He repeats.

“What are you going to do?” Wonshik asks. “The kids can’t go to school without shoes and trousers.”

“I’m not a kid.” Hongbin tries to argue. “And I didn’t mean to-.”

“It was an accident.” Jaehwan agrees, trying to stop more tears.

“What are you going to do?” Wonshik asks again, fear and frustration bubbling in his chest.

Hakyeon looks at Taekwoon but Taekwoon does nothing but stare at the floor.

“And what about rent?” Wonshik pushes.

“Are we going to get evicted again?” Sanghyuk asks and his voice wobbles.

“Are we?”

And then Taekwoon is suddenly striding towards the door and they all jump when he slams it closed behind himself.

“Did he- did he just leave?” Sanghyuk tries hard to keep the tears in eyes from spilling down his cheeks.

Anger courses through Wonshik’s body and he wants to kick and scream and hit, “he can’t do that!”

“Wonshik!” Hakyeon scolds because his voice had been too loud. “Do you want the neighbours to complain?”

“I don’t care.” Wonshik tells him but his voice is quieter, less of a shout. The woman next door has two tiny sons and they go to sleep early. He doesn’t really want to wake them. “He can’t just leave us like this.”

“He’ll be back.” Hakyeon tries to sound firm but Wonshik isn’t a kid- he knows Hakyeon’s scared, too. “Let’s just- let’s just see what we can make for dinner, okay?”

They end up sharing two packs of ramyun between the five of them and it isn’t enough for any of them even if they try to pretend it is. Afterwards, Hakyeon pulls out a packet of stale crackers from one of the cupboards and he divides it up between the four youngest, telling them he’s full and doesn’t want anything else to eat, and they ignore the unspoken knowledge that this is the last of Hakyeon’s emergency food stash.

They do their homework after dinner while Hakyeon cleans up. They get ready for bed once they’re done and they lounge around on their shared futons and do their own thing. Hongbin and Sanghyuk work on a crossword from the old puzzle book Hakyeon had brought home one day, Jaehwan reads his library book and Wonshik scribbles down his usual mess of words into his notebook. Hakyeon tries to patch Hongbin’s trousers even though they all know they’re beyond fixing.

Their stomachs continue to rumble and Wonshik sees Hakyeon’s frown grow deeper every time it happens.

Eventually they start settling down to go to sleep, despite their hunger, and Sanghyuk’s just started snoring when they hear keys in the door.

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon calls, his voice softer than usual to avoid waking Sanghyuk, as the door swings open and Wonshik immediately perks up because he can smell-.

“Have you got chicken?” Jaehwan asks, sitting up.

“Where did you get that from?” Wonshik is already scrambling from his blankets.

“The shop down the street.” Taekwoon answers, his voice quiet as always.

Hongbin shakes Sanghyuk awake, “wake up! Taekwoon’s brought home chicken!”

Wonshik is already pulling the bag from Taekwoon’s hands and the other boys quickly crowd around and snatch the boxes of chicken from Wonshik as he takes them out of the bag.

“There’s so much!” Sanghyuk whispers, his voice full of awe as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

“This is...” Hongbin chokes down a mouthful, “this is like heaven.”

Wonshik looks back at Taekwoon intending to offer him a piece but Hakyeon is already stood with him, a hand wrapped tightly around his wrist and a look of concern plastered across his face.

“Your lip is split.” Wonshik hears him whisper, too quiet for any of the other boys to hear even if they were paying attention.

“It’s nothing.” Taekwoon avoids looking at him and instead pulls something – money, Wonshik realises, a fair amount of it, too – from his pocket. “Here, there should be enough for what the kids need. Rent, too.”

Hakyeon takes the money from Taekwoon but he doesn’t count it, “where did you get this from?”

Taekwoon tenses but he doesn’t answer.

“Taekwoon…”

“There’s going to be nothing left if you two don’t come get something.” Jaehwan interrupts, his voice loud, and it breaks the spell over the two eldest. “These kids are animals.”

Taekwoon tugs his wrist free and locks himself the bathroom while Hakyeon scolds the kids, “slow down or else you’re going to end up choking. Sanghyuk- you need to chew your food.”

Wonshik hands Hakyeon the piece of chicken he’s holding before pulling the last box from the bag, “what do you think he did?”

Hakyeon sits on the floor with the kids and Wonshik does the same. It’s around with a forced smile and a shrug he says, “he wouldn’t be our Taekwoon if there wasn’t some kind of mystery.”

“I don’t care what he did.” Sanghyuk states. “As long as he keeps bringing chicken home it doesn’t matter.”

“It’s not special if you have it every day.” Hongbin points out.

“Chicken is and always will be special.” Jaehwan shoots straight back. “I could eat it every day for the rest of my life and never get bored of it.”

“You might end up turning into a chicken if you did that.” Hakyeon teases.

“And then we’d eat you!” Sanghyuk says a little bit too gleefully. “It’s not cannibalism if you’re a chicken.”

“It’s still pretty fucking wrong.” Wonshik snorts and earns himself a slap around the back of the head for his language.

They eat their fill and then pack away what’s left into one of the boxes for Taekwoon. They take turns washing their hands and their faces in the kitchen sink before crawling back under their blankets. It isn’t long before the kids and Jaehwan fall asleep but Wonshik feels a bit too full, almost sick, to join them so easily so he closes his eyes and counts sheep instead.

Hakyeon works quietly at the kitchen table, the soft glow of the lamp enough for him to see what he’s doing, and Wonshik can imagine the look of concentration on his face as he types away on his ancient laptop.

This is normal. The laptop belongs to the company Hakyeon provides online customer support for and the gentle tapping of keys is a sound that’s lulled Wonshik to sleep more times than he can count. Hakyeon works this job during the night while the rest of them are sleeping and then at the restaurant across the road during school hours. It’s a lot and it always makes Wonshik feel guilty whenever he sees how tired Hakyeon is. He’s looking forward to being old enough to pay his own way but as it is at moment, being only sixteen, there’s not much he can do but help out at the restaurant Hakyeon works at whenever he’s suspended from school and be thankful for the few won he gets in return.

Wonshik is almost asleep when he hears the door to the bathroom open and the smell of store brand shampoo and body wash – both the same generic ‘clean’ scent despite the labels on the bottles saying they should smell very different – invades the room.

“Taekwoon.” Hakyeon says, his voice barely above a whisper. “We saved you some chicken.”

“I’m not hungry.” Taekwoon murmurs in response. “I just want to sleep.”

Hakyeon sighs and there’s a long stretch of silence where Wonshik nearly drifts off into sleep before Hakyeon speaks again, “are you going to tell me where you got the money from?”

“No.”

“Okay, just don’t… just don’t do it again, okay? Whatever it is. We’ll be okay.”

But Taekwoon doesn’t say anything. Instead he lays down on the futon next to Wonshik, hissing in pain as he does so, and pulls the blanket over his head and feigns sleep.

He’s already gone when Wonshik wakes the next morning.

Wonshik covers the first part of Hakyeon’s shift at the restaurant while Hakyeon takes the youngest two to the market to look for second-hand shoes and trousers. It’s approaching midday by the time Hakyeon arrives at the restaurant, Hongbin and Sanghyuk in tow, and he apologises profusely to the restaurant owner for being so late.

She’s a strict woman and usually Wonshik thinks that Hakyeon would be in a lot more trouble than he is but today she seems more concerned about why Hongbin and Sanghyuk are not in school.

“Sanghyuk’s big feet.” Hongbin explains when he joins Wonshik in the back and dumps the stack of dirty plates he’s carrying straight into the sink. “It took us ages to find him shoes. Hakyeon said by the time we got to school the day would practically be over so there was no point in us wasting bus fare.”

“Poor Hakyeon.” Wonshik says and even if it comes out sarcastically he does mean it. It’s not fair that he’s getting an earful from the restaurant owner when all he’s done is try to look out for the kids. “He tries his best.”

Hongbin doesn’t look so convinced, “at least back at the home we got new clothes sometimes. With Hakyeon and Taekwoon we’re lucky to get something that’s only belonged to one other person.”

Wonshik knows he doesn’t mean it. Hongbin is fourteen and finds it easy to forget how bad things were at the home but is quick to grumble about things being difficult now.

“I think I prefer not getting beaten every other day to having new clothes.” Wonshik says and that ends the conversation.

Insuk, the restaurant owner, however strict she is with Hakyeon, is soft on the kids. She has the three of them – because Wonshik is one of the kids, too, when Hongbin and Sanghyuk are around – sit at one of the back tables and has the cook prepare them a small feast.

“You better eat it all, you’re all far too skinny.” She tells them when she delivers the last of their food. “And you’ll need your energy for all the work you’re going to do this afternoon.”

They finish up just as the lunchtime rush picks up and Hongbin and Sanghyuk are banished into the kitchen to wash dishes while Wonshik buses tables. When things start to die down Hongbin is ordered to sweep the restaurant floor and Sanghyuk helps Wonshik set tables in time for the dinnertime rush. They’re allowed to leave, though, before that starts and Insuk must be feeling extra generous because she sends them on their way with two large bags of takeout for their dinner.

“She’s never this nice when it’s just me.” Hakyeon grumbles good-naturedly as they climb the stairs to their apartment, the smell of food heavy in the air and making all of their stomachs rumble.

“That’s because you’re not as cute as our Hyukkie and Hongbinnie.” Wonshik teases and gets a punch on the shoulder from their youngest.

Jaehwan is already home from school when they get back and he guiltily confesses to eating the remainder of last night’s chicken. No one seems to mind, except Sanghyuk, because they’ve come home with enough food to feed a small army.

They sit around the table to eat – Hongbin and Sanghyuk squeezing onto the same chair – and demolish everything but the plate Hakyeon prepares for Taekwoon to eat when he gets home. Smiles and laughter come easy and Wonshik doesn’t think he’s seen everyone in such a good mood since Sanghyuk’s birthday a couple of months before. He thinks it’s amazing the difference a full belly makes.

Hakyeon goes to visit their landlord to pay rent once dinner is done and leaves Jaehwan in charge of making sure they clean up which they do, of course. It just takes them a little longer when they get caught up in an impromptu water fight. They’re still cleaning up when Hakyeon gets home and he does nothing but roll his eyes at them and make them promise to be quiet while he takes a short nap.

Jaehwan does his homework and Wonshik keeps the kids busy with a game of cards until it’s time to start getting ready for bed.

Wonshik doesn’t even notice Taekwoon is late getting home until they’re getting themselves settled on their futons and Hakyeon is yawning and dragging himself to his feet.

“Where’s Taekwoon?” Hongbin asks.

“He’s not home yet?” Hakyeon asks and he suddenly looks wide awake.

“No.” Jaehwan answers. “Not yet.”

“They probably needed someone to stay late again.” Hakyeon says and this is enough for Jaehwan and the kids because they cocoon themselves in their blankets and get ready to sleep. Wonshik isn’t so sold and it must show on his face because Hakyeon gives him his softest smile, “go to sleep, Wonshik. He’ll be home soon.”

It’s hours later when Wonshik, who is going through another phase of not sleeping well, is woken from his light doze by the front door clicking closed.

“Where have you been?” Hakyeon’s voice is quiet and low.

“I’m sorry.” Taekwoon says.

There’s the rustle of clothes and quiet footsteps and then Hakyeon asks, “where did you get this from?”

“Don’t touch me!” This is louder, more forceful and Jaehwan lets out a low moan, like he’s on the verge of waking, and a long moment of silence follows until Jaehwan sighs and rolls over.

“Talk to me, Taekwoon.”

No answer comes and it isn’t long before the shower starts up and Wonshik is lulled back to sleep.

They don’t see too much of Taekwoon over the next few weeks, just a couple of hours on a morning at the weekend, but whenever they do he claims he’s too tired to play around with them like he usually would. Hongbin and Sanghyuk especially take this hard, even more so when they try anyway and end up getting shouted at. Hakyeon does what he can to intervene but he’s not around all the time and so Jaehwan and Wonshik have to step in before the kids get their feelings hurt.

Wonshik begins to not like Taekwoon as much as he used to. He doesn’t smile or laugh anymore and hardly ever makes them ramyun when they ask. Instead he gets mad and shouts and locks himself away in the bathroom until he’s had chance to calm down. He never hits them, though, even if Wonshik thinks sometimes all he really wants to do is smack them on the back of the head, and instead pulls at his hair and bites his lip until it bleeds.

Eventually the kids start to avoid him and the apartment always feels tense when he’s at home.

Wonshik starts to prefer it when he’s not there.

“I don’t like Taekwoon anymore.” Sanghyuk says one night over dinner and hours before any of them expects Taekwoon to be home. “He’s so mad all the time.”

Hakyeon purses his lips, “he’s not mad, he’s just tired. He’s working a lot so we have enough money for the things we need.”

And that ends the conversation for the moment because in the last month there have been no hushed discussions about rent being late or bills being overdue, no whispers about being hungry and stomachs rumbling through the night. They’d even had enough money to buy Wonshik sneakers when his old pair had finally fallen apart.

Weeks continue to pass. They don’t worry about rent or bills or not having enough to eat anymore. They start to fill out, look more like teenage boys instead of scarecrows, and Hakyeon’s smiles are easier, brighter. Life feels good for the first time in a long time.

Then the end of September comes and with it brings Hongbin’s birthday. It’s a Thursday and Wonshik, Hakyeon, Jaehwan and, surprisingly, even Taekwoon meet Hongbin and Sanghyuk off the bus.

Wonshik’s chest feels warm when he sees Hongbin’s whole face light up, even if his smile dips slightly at the sight of Taekwoon.

“What’s this?” He asks because he’d had no idea they had planned anything for his birthday- they don’t normally have the money.

“We’re going out for dinner.” Hakyeon grins, pinching at Hongbin’s cheeks. “To celebrate our Binnie’s special day.”

“Where are we going?” Sanghyuk asks.

“Wherever Hongbin wants to go.” Hakyeon replies, stepping back out of reach when Hongbin half-heartedly swings for him.

“Anywhere?” He asks.

“Well,” Hakyeon says, “anywhere that isn’t too expensive.”

“Pick somewhere good.” Jaehwan tells Hongbin.

“Can we go to McDonald’s?” Hongbin asks and immediately blushes.

“Sure.” Hakyeon nods and Wonshik feels stupid for not having guessed.

The last time they had gone to McDonald’s was Hongbin’s eleventh birthday, the last birthday any of them had had in the home. It had been good then, full of promise of life beyond the home, and Hongbin likes to talk about it whenever things get really hard.

It’s one of Wonshik’s favourite memories, too.

The closest McDonald’s is a twenty minute walk away but none of them really mind the distance when it’s for Hongbin. Wonshik walks at the back of the group with Taekwoon and Sanghyuk and the youngest has them both laughing over something stupid he’d done at school earlier in the day.

And it’s nice, Wonshik thinks, to see Taekwoon smiling like this. He’d expected it to feel awkward with Taekwoon being with them when they’ve all come to dread his presence but it doesn’t. It feels _good_ to have him with them, to see him look so comfortable. Wonshik honestly can’t remember the last time he’d seen Taekwoon smile so freely. It must have been a while ago, he thinks, before Taekwoon had started looking so exhausted and skinny and sick, and Wonshik feels the familiar burst of guilt flare in his chest because he hadn’t seen it happening.

He wants it to stop.

“What do you do at night?” Wonshik asks, cutting Sanghyuk off mid-flow, because he thinks if he knows then he can help. “Why are you never home anymore?”

Taekwoon’s smile falters and his shoulders tense, “does it really matter?”

“Yeah.” Wonshik says. “Of course.”

Taekwoon shakes his head, “all that’s important is that you guys are okay. That’s all I care about, that you guys are happy.”

Wonshik wants to push for more but Taekwoon has closed himself off.

He forces smiles for the rest of the evening.

At the beginning of October, Hakyeon takes the four of them shopping. They go to a proper store instead of the second-hand market and they are all excited even if the store is one of those that doesn’t sell anything branded. They hardly believe their ears when Hakyeon tells them that they’re there to buy new boots and coats for the winter.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Wonshik asks.

“Do we really have enough money?” Jaehwan asks.

“Me and Taekwoon have been saving all summer.” Hakyeon tells them. “So, yes, we have enough. But you kids really shouldn’t be worrying about money, that’s the grown-ups’ job.”

“You’re only a couple of years older than me.” Jaehwan reminds him. “And you sleep with a SpongeBob plushie. I’d hardly call you a grown-up.”

Still, they don’t argue too much. It’s unheard of for any of them to get anything that’s brand new and none of them want to pass up the chance.

Hakyeon takes them to the shoe department first and he flirts with the shop assistant who takes their foot measurements, trying not to look too embarrassed by all their holey socks and smelly feet, and together they manage to find a sturdy pair of boots for each of them.

They head to the menswear section next and this is more difficult because style suddenly becomes a lot more important than practicality. At least for everyone but Hakyeon and Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk is happy with the navy duffle coat that Hakyeon picks out for him but Wonshik and the others are harder to please. Wonshik has his eye on a leather jacket that he knows is miles out of their price range and Hongbin wants a coat that Hakyeon argues won’t be warm enough for winter. Jaehwan just doesn’t want anything boring or embarrassing.

In the end Jaehwan ends up with a burgundy duffle coat and Wonshik and Hongbin with thickly padded coats that are identical in every way but size.

“You take my coat,” Wonshik warns once they’ve decided, “even by accident, and I will punch you.”

“Don’t ruin what’s been a good day.” Hakyeon tells Wonshik and then proceeds to embarrass them all by pulling his brick of a calculator from his tatty messenger bag. “Now let me get this all added up and see how much budget we’ve got left.”

“There’s a budget?” Jaehwan asks over the groans of the rest of them. “Does this mean we can get some other stuff, too?”

They all end up with new underwear and socks and a couple of multipacks of t-shirts to share between them and, despite how happy they are to have new things, they are all relieved when Hakyeon calls it a day.  

The walk home isn’t too long, only about fifteen minutes, and Wonshik tries to not smile too widely at the novel feeling of carrying shopping bags with new clothes in them. He has a reputation to uphold, after all.

He can’t hide his smile, though, when they stop at the chicken shop down the street from their apartment.

“Are you being serious?” Sanghyuk asks, jaw slack.

“Of course.” Hakyeon holds the door open for them to enter. “You’ve all been really good the last few weeks, you deserve this… You deserve to be treated like this every week- like normal kids.”

Wonshik pretends not to see the flash of sadness on Hakyeon’s face but he squeezes his arm as slyly as he can when he walks past. Wonshik’s not really good with words or actions at times like these but he tries anyway. For all that Hakyeon has done for them, he deserves whatever support they can give him. Even if it isn’t much.

They decide to take the chicken home to eat because they’re tired and Sanghyuk persuades Hakyeon to buy them all cans of coke along with the obscene amount of chicken he’s ordered. Wonshik is surprised at how easily he gives in.

They eat sitting cross-legged on the floor before Hakyeon challenges them to a game of cards. Wonshik wins the first two rounds and then, just as he’s getting smug, he starts a losing streak that lasts the rest of the game. Hongbin and Sanghyuk tease him mercilessly and Wonshik plays along with them and acts grumpy. He puts his foot down, though, when Hakyeon joins in on the teasing- their eldest hasn’t won a single round and therefore has no ground to tease Wonshik.

He does anyway.

They start getting ready for bed once Sanghyuk starts to yawn. They take turns in the bathroom while the others lay out their futons and their blankets. Hakyeon cleans up the last of the rubbish from dinner and boots up his laptop.

Then they hear someone fumbling with the lock to the apartment and they all freeze.

Hakyeon shares looks with first Jaehwan and then Wonshik before standing straight and squaring his shoulders, “stay where you are.”

Wonshik doesn’t listen, choosing instead to stick close to Hakyeon’s back as he approaches the door, fierce determination welling in his chest because he’s not about to let someone with bad intentions into his home and hurt his brothers. Not if he can help it.

It wouldn’t be the first time, either. The first week they’d moved in, a drunk man had tried to get into the apartment and when Hakyeon and Taekwoon had tried to get him to stop he’d gotten violent. Hakyeon’s black eye had taken weeks to fully heal.

Hakyeon must know what he’s thinking because he gives Wonshik a disapproving look but doesn’t send him away.

Wonshik balls his hands into fists and readies himself to fight as Hakyeon cracks the door open.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Taekwoon!” Hakyeon hisses and he pulls the door all the way open just in time to catch Taekwoon as his knees give out.

Wonshik swears, too, because there’s a lot of blood.

It’s pouring down his face and soaking into his t-shirt and dripping from his hands.

“Jaehwan, quick, get a towel.” Hakyeon snaps. “Wonshik, help me get him inside.”

Together they half carry, half drag Taekwoon into the apartment and sit him in one of the chairs at the table. Sanghyuk and Hongbin hover nervously, the fear on their faces clear, and Wonshik would think to comfort them if there wasn’t _so much blood_.

“Here.” Jaehwan hands Hakyeon their spare towel before going to shut and lock the apartment door.

Hakyeon mops at the blood on Taekwoon’s face while Taekwoon moans and tries to move out of reach.

“Quit moving.” Hakyeon tells him, his voice sharp.

“What happened?” Wonshik asks at the same time as Jaehwan asks, “who did this to you?”

“Wouldn’t pay.” Taekwoon murmurs, his words clumsy and his eyes glassy and unfocused. “He-he-.”

“Don’t talk.” Hakyeon scolds him but Wonshik sees the worry on his face. “Just sit still and let me find where all this blood is coming from.”

There’s a cut as long as Wonshik’s index finger on Taekwoon’s hairline and another on his arm and Hakyeon does his best to clean them.

“Maybe you should take him to the hospital.” Hongbin suggests and Wonshik knows what Hakyeon is going to say before he speaks.

“No.” Hakyeon says, quickly. “What if someone sees this and thinks we’re not taking proper care of you? They could tell social services, you could be taken away. I’m not risking it. Besides, you know Taekwoon hates the hospital.”

Wonshik thinks that the first excuse holds more truth and is what has Hakyeon the most scared because he knows that had been how Hakyeon had been taken into care when he was a little kid. His mother had gone to hospital with a fever and only a few hours later Hakyeon had been ripped away from his home, his brothers and his sisters and put into the home where Wonshik had met him a few years later.

Wonshik doesn’t think the same thing would happen now when they’ve all been obviously well looked after but he understands why Hakyeon is reluctant.

“Let’s just patch him up here.” Wonshik says.

Taekwoon passes out when Hakyeon starts to stitch the cut on his forehead shut and, as much as it makes Wonshik worry, it does make the process easier. It’s Wonshik’s job to hold Taekwoon’s head straight while Jaehwan mops at the blood. Sanghyuk makes sure there’s clean water and Hongbin tries not to be sick.

Once he’s done, Hakyeon sends Sanghyuk and Hongbin back to bed and Wonshik knows what comes next is something Hakyeon doesn’t want the youngest to see.

“Help me get him into the bathroom.” Hakyeon says. “We need to get him changed out of these bloody clothes.”

Wonshik and Jaehwan take an arm each while Hakyeon guides them and, once they’re in the bathroom, Hakyeon locks the door behind them. Together they shimmy Taekwoon out of his clothes until all that he’s wearing is his boxer shorts and Wonshik can’t help but be horrified at what he sees.

“I don’t-?” Jaehwan starts.

“What the fuck?” Wonshik hisses because Taekwoon is skeletally thin and there are fresh bruises blossoming on his ribs and dark, angry ones on his hips. “How-?”

“Let’s just get him in the tub.” Hakyeon says.

Hakyeon uses the showerhead and a soft cloth to clean away the dried blood on Taekwoon’s body and is slow and gentle when he washes his hair. Jaehwan helps but Wonshik doesn’t do anything.

He feels sick.

And the feeling doesn’t go even when Taekwoon is dry and dressed and laid in his futon to continue to sleep. His stomach churns and he has to swallow deeply every couple of minutes to keep himself from throwing up.

He doesn’t know how the others sleep but they do. Only Hakyeon stays awake and Wonshik isn’t surprised when he hears him crying quietly to himself in the early hours of the morning.

Taekwoon doesn’t get out of bed the next day.

His face is swollen and bruised black and he doesn’t speak to anyone but Hakyeon who forces him to sit up and eat. Wonshik can’t stand to look at him so he takes the kids out for most of the afternoon so he doesn’t have to.

The day after is Monday and Taekwoon has already left for work by the time Wonshik gets up for school.

“Should he really be going to work when his face looks like that?” Sanghyuk asks.

“Just worry about yourself.” Hakyeon responds, lips pulled into a thin line. “If you don’t hurry then you’re going to miss your bus.”

They don’t ask any more questions but there’s a tension there that’s never existed before, not amongst the five of them at least. They all know that Hakyeon is hiding something from them.

“Maybe Taekwoon’s dealing drugs.” Sanghyuk whispers on Wednesday night while they’re sat around the table doing their homework. Hakyeon is sleeping on one of the futons not too far away. “And he got beat up trying to make someone pay.”

Hongbin stiffens and Wonshik feels a burst of sympathy for him.

Hongbin’s parents had been addicts.

“Taekwoon wouldn’t do that.” Jaehwan whispers back, sounding confident. “He knows it’s wrong.”

“Then where does the money come from?” Sanghyuk asks.

No one has an answer for that but they all feel the same unease.

It’s Friday before Wonshik sees Taekwoon again.

“What are you doing here?” Wonshik asks because Taekwoon is sat at the table with Hakyeon when he and Jaehwan get home from school.

“I live here.” Taekwoon responds, dryly.

“But why aren’t you at work?” Jaehwan tries because he doesn’t understand either.

“Leave him alone.” Hakyeon scolds them. “Why are you so suspicious?”

“Because he shows up half dead and covered in blood then disappears for a week.” Wonshik snaps. “It’s not exactly normal behaviour.”

Taekwoon’s cheeks flare bright red, “I wasn’t half dead.”

“Did you not see how much you were bleeding?”

“I-.”

“Don’t start arguing.” Hakyeon cuts in. “Please. Can’t we just have one nice night together?”

“He started it.” Taekwoon pouts and the fire in Wonshik’s chest disappears.

He almost wants to laugh.

“Yeah, well, I’m ending it.” Hakyeon sounds like the moms Wonshik sees on TV. “You kids are going to send me to an early grave.”

“Your face looks better.” Jaehwan blurts and then immediately looks embarrassed.

It’s true, though. The swelling has gone and the bruises are not as dark as they were on Sunday. Wonshik can’t even see the cut on his forehead, hidden as it is by Taekwoon’s hair.

“Thanks.” Taekwoon says and he looks sheepish. “And thanks for, you know, helping. I should have gone somewhere else- I shouldn’t have put you and the kids through that.”

Wonshik isn’t sure he understands, “where else would you have gone?”

Taekwoon doesn’t answer.

Hakyeon gets them to start on their homework even though it’s Friday night while they wait for the kids to get home from school. Taekwoon chops a couple of vegetables for dinner and the four of them sing along to the songs playing on the beat-up radio Hakyeon had brought home the month before.

It’s nice, Wonshik thinks, and it’s even better once the kids get home because they immediately go to Taekwoon for hugs and he lets them, even if Wonshik can see he feels uncomfortable. Hongbin gets a little teary eyed and Taekwoon apologises for making them worry, promises not to do it again, and Wonshik sees the tension in their shoulders disappear.

It’s enough for now.

They take it in turns to eat dinner at the table because there’s only four chairs and so not enough for them to all sit together. Wonshik eats in the second sitting with Hakyeon and Taekwoon and the noodles are a bit too soft and the vegetables mushy but he doesn’t complain because it’s the first time Taekwoon has cooked for them in a long time.

It’s the kids turn to clean up after dinner but Wonshik helps them out by wiping down the table and the counter. Taekwoon watches him with a small smile on his face.

“What?” Wonshik asks when he get fed up of Taekwoon’s gaze.

“I need to do the laundry.” He shrugs. “I was wondering if you wanted to come with me seeing as though you’re in a helpful mood.”

“Laundry on a Friday night?” Wonshik raises an eyebrow at him.

“You could bring your homework with you.” Taekwoon teases. “Jaehwan does when we go together.”

Wonshik feels slightly taken aback by Taekwoon’s obvious good mood but he tries to roll with it, “I’ll go with you but I’m not bringing my homework with me. I’m not a nerd.”

“Hey!” Jaehwan calls, pretending to be upset.

“We all know it’s true.” Wonshik mutters.

Hakyeon and Taekwoon pack all the dirty clothes away into three huge laundry bags and then Wonshik and Taekwoon set off to the laundromat a couple of streets over. It’s dark outside already and cold, too, but Wonshik hardly notices as he struggles with his bag.

“I’ve got the heaviest one.” Wonshik says when Taekwoon throws him a look.

“How’s school been?” Taekwoon asks instead of teasing him. “Hakyeon said you’ve not been in trouble for a while now.”

“It’s not worth it.” Wonshik answers. “I just want to finish school as quickly as I can and get a job so I can help you guys with the bills. I can’t do that if I get suspended for fighting every couple of weeks.”

Wonshik expects something more than the frown Taekwoon gives him, “don’t you have anything you want to do?”

“I just told you.” Wonshik says. “I want to help you guys out.”

“More than that. Jaehwan wants to go to college-.”

“Jaehwan’s smart.”

“So are you.” Taekwoon tells him. “You could go to college, too, if you wanted to.”

“Only way I could get in would be by getting a scholarship and I’ve fucked too much up for that already.”

“You’ve got two years left.” Taekwoon reminds him. “You could pull it back.”

“Even if I could get in, I wouldn’t go.” Wonshik says and, suddenly, his mouth grows dry and the words stick in his throat. “I don’t- I don’t want to leave you guys.”

“Wonshik…” Taekwoon’s voice is soft. “You wouldn’t be leaving us behind.”

“I would!” Wonshik insists. “After everything you and Hakyeon have done for us, I can’t just leave- I need to pay you back.”

There’s quiet for a moment and Wonshik thinks that Taekwoon’s going to drop the subject but he doesn’t.

“Do you know how you pay us back?” He asks.

Wonshik nods, “get a job and help you out with the kids.”

“No.” Taekwoon is firm. “You go to college or you get a job and you do something that you love, something that makes you really happy. You’re too… you’re too _good_ to be stuck in some dead-end job you hate just so you can scrape enough money together to make ends meet.”

“Like you and Hakyeon, you mean?”

“We have you guys and that’s enough.” Taekwoon tells him and Wonshik can hear the sincerity in his voice. “You pay us back by being happy, that’s all we want.”

“You could have been happy, too.” Wonshik says and he thinks of how exhausted Taekwoon and Hakyeon always are, how much they’ve given up to give him and Jaehwan and the kids a chance at life. “You didn’t have to take us with you.”

“We couldn’t just leave you guys behind. We’re brothers, aren’t we?” They’ve reached the laundromat, the light shining through the glass bright enough to make Wonshik’s eyes hurt, and Taekwoon holds the door open for him. “Go on, after you.”

The laundromat is busy for a Friday night but they manage to find two machines next to each other easily enough. Wonshik doesn’t know what to say as they load their clothes into the machines and Taekwoon doesn’t say anything either so they work in silence.

It’s only once the machines have been going for a while and their asses have started to grow numb from sitting in the rickety plastic chairs that Taekwoon speaks again.

“Have you thought about music?”

Wonshik blinks, “what?”

“I know you do a lot of writing in your notebook.” Taekwoon shrugs, not looking at him. “And I’ve heard you humming to yourself.”

Wonshik’s cheeks flush, “and?”

“And I was talking to one of the guys at work, him and a couple of his friends go to an open mic battle or something on Saturday nights. It’s hip hop and I know you like that kind of stuff.” Taekwoon is blushing as he stumbles over his words. “I asked Hakyeon and he said you’d like it. I thought- I can take you sometime if you want?”

“Are you serious?” Wonshik asks and he’s smiling so hard his face hurts.

“Yeah, of course.” Taekwoon’s smiling, too, but it dims when he sees someone over Wonshik’s shoulder.

Wonshik hears footsteps approach and he turns to look who is coming towards them but Taekwoon delivers a quick kick to his shin and subtly shakes his head. Wonshik glares at him but he gets the message.

“Fancy seeing you here.” The new arrival – a man with a deep, rumbling voice – says. There’s fake concern in his voice when he asks, “what happened to your face? Did someone damage the goods?”

“I’m not working.” Taekwoon says and he sounds quiet and timid and nothing like he had only minutes before. It immediately puts Wonshik on edge. “Please… I’m not working tonight.”

“Would you prefer I asked your little friend here?” A hand clamps down on Wonshik’s shoulder and the grip is too strong for Wonshik to shrug it off.

He opens his mouth to say something but Taekwoon stands before he can get any words out and gives Wonshik a stern look, “stay here.”

There’s something in Taekwoon’s expression that Wonshik has never seen before and it scares him.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Taekwoon promises.

Wonshik watches them go and he hates the smug smile the man – middle-aged and ugly – wears. He wants to punch it off, wants to show him that Wonshik isn’t just some kid to be used to threaten Taekwoon with, but he doesn’t want to defy Taekwoon in front of him either.

He looks at his watch and tells himself he’ll wait ten minutes like Taekwoon had asked him to and then go look for him if he’s not already back.

He squirms in his seat and bounces his leg. There’s tension in his shoulders and an uneasiness in his gut that makes him feel sick. He keeps his eyes trained on the door and desperately waits for Taekwoon to come back.

A minute ticks by.

And then another.

And then, slowly, slowly another eight and Taekwoon still isn’t back.

Wonshik pushes himself to his feet and heads for the exit.

The air is cold and it bites at the exposed skin of Wonshik’s cheeks but it does nothing to take away the jittery feeling in his stomach.

He turns left like he had seen Taekwoon and the man do and his blood turns to ice when he hears the man’s voice echoing from an alley a couple of buildings up from the laundromat.

Wonshik steps closer.

It’s dark in the alley but there’s just enough light from the streetlights on the main road for Wonshik to make out the figures of Taekwoon and the man.

And he doesn’t…

It takes him a long moment of listening and watching before it hits him just what they’re doing.

They’re fucking.

Taekwoon is leaning against the wall, his head cushioned by his arms, and the man has his fingers digging into the pale skin of Taekwoon’s hips. Their trousers are by their knees and Wonshik can hear the man grunting as he pounds into Taekwoon’s thin body.

“Fucking slut.” The man hisses in Taekwoon’s ear, just loud enough for Wonshik to hear. “You like this don’t you? You like my cock in your ass?”

The man yanks Taekwoon’s head back by his hair and Taekwoon bites out a low, “yes.”

Wonshik finds he can’t look away.

The man’s thrusts are uneven and erratic and it isn’t long before he’s pulling himself flush against Taekwoon’s body and shuddering to a stop.

Wonshik feels bile rise in his throat. Tears start to burn at his eyes and he rubs at them to keep them from falling. He doesn’t know why he’s crying.

When his vision clears he sees Taekwoon on the floor and the man stood over him, fixing his trousers.

“That wasn’t too bad now, was it?” He asks and he looks smug again. He pulls some cash from his trouser pocket and Taekwoon takes it with a shaking hand. “I won’t be so generous next time you try to tell me you’re not working.”

Wonshik chokes back a sob.

“There’s only two-twenty here.” Taekwoon says. “You usually pay three hundred.”

And then the reality of what he’s seeing hits him and Wonshik can’t watch anymore.

He stumbles out of the alley as he hears the thud of flesh against flesh and he just has to-.

He needs to get away.

He walks past the laundromat and past the apartment and he keeps going because he doesn’t want to stop. If he stops that means he has to think and he doesn’t want that.

He keeps going until his feet give out from underneath him and he collapses onto the floor and he sobs.

He feels dirty and disgusting and he just doesn’t _understand_.

Why had Taekwoon done that?

Why had he let that man touch him like that?

For money? For them?

The idea makes him feel strangely violated.

He hadn’t asked Taekwoon to do that – he doubts anyone would have – so why did Taekwoon think it was okay? Doing that… sleeping with strange men for money wasn’t normal. In fact, Wonshik is almost certain it’s illegal.

So why would Taekwoon do it?

They had never been that desperate for money, had they? He knows that they’d struggled a lot but they would have worked things out – they always had – so there was no reason for Taekwoon to do what he had been doing unless… Unless he had enjoyed it.

The thought makes Wonshik feel sick and somewhere deep, deep down he knows it’s not true but his mind latches onto it anyway and fury bubbles in his chest.

Taekwoon had enjoyed fucking that man. He had acted shy and timid in the laundromat because he hadn’t wanted Wonshik to know how much he had enjoyed it, how much he had been hoping for an encounter like that when he’d stepped out of their apartment. It makes Wonshik feel so sick.

He lets the anger overtake him because it’s easier to be angry than listen to the tiny voice in the back of his mind that whispers the truth: that Taekwoon had sold himself so that they could live without worrying about rent or bills or where their next meal was going to come from.

The anger pushes him to his feet and he starts to run.

He runs through the streets and up the stairs of their apartment building and he bursts through the front door.

“Wonshik!” Hakyeon stands up, his chair scraping against the floor. “Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick.”

Taekwoon is sat in the chair next to him and he looks so ridiculously normal – like he hasn’t just had some strange man’s dick up his ass – and it makes something twist in Wonshik’s chest.

He explodes.

“You- you whore!” He shouts and he doesn’t care that Jaehwan and the kids are watching or that Hakyeon suddenly looks as pale as a ghost. “I saw you! I saw you fucking that man in that alley like a fucking slut. Is that how you’ve been making your money?”

“Wonshik…” Taekwoon won’t meet his eyes.

“Tell me.” Wonshik demands and he marches up to the table. He towers over Taekwoon who hasn’t bothered to stand up and, for some reason, that just makes Wonshik angrier. Shouldn’t Taekwoon be trying to put up a fight? “Tell me! Is that how you’ve been making your money?”

Taekwoon doesn’t say anything but Wonshik can see the answer on his face.

He feels hot and cold and so, so sick.

“You’re fucking disgusting. Your money is dirty.” Wonshik bends and he pulls off his boots. “I don’t want this,” he throws the first boot at Taekwoon and the older doesn’t try to stop it from hitting him in the chest, “or this,” the second boot hits him in the face, “or anything your filthy money has bought.”

“Wonshik!” Hakyeon is shouting now, looking a mix between furious and terrified. “What on-.”

Wonshik jabs a finger in Taekwoon’s direction, “he’s a whore! All these months we’ve been thinking he’s been out working hard but really he’s just been fucking random strangers in back alleys for cash. It’s disgusting.”

“Get out!” Hakyeon shouts and for a second he thinks that Hakyeon’s words are aimed Taekwoon.

They’re not.

“What?”

Hakyeon grabs him by the collar of his coat and drags him out of the apartment.

“Hakyeon?!”

But Hakyeon doesn’t say anything.

He pulls Wonshik down the stairs and out of their apartment block and Wonshik’s socks aren’t thick enough to keep out the chill of the cold cement under his feet.

There’s an all-night café across the street and that’s where Hakyeon takes him.

“Get a table at the back.” Hakyeon tells him once they’re inside.

He sounds calmer than he had in the apartment but still furious and it scares Wonshik into doing as he’s told. He chooses the table right in the back corner, the one that’s mostly hidden away from prying eyes and ears, and he buries his face in his hands and tries to take deep, calming breaths while he waits.

“I got you a tea.” Hakyeon puts two cups down on the table and he ignores the face Wonshik makes at him. “It was the cheapest thing on the menu.”

“I don’t like tea.”

“I don’t care.” Hakyeon says and their eyes meet. “You’re going to drink it.”

Wonshik ducks his head and stares at the chipped surface of the table.

Pressure builds in Wonshik’s gut as they sit in silence. He knows that Hakyeon is waiting for him to speak but Wonshik doesn’t have the right words.

He’s still so angry but he’s embarrassed, too. He’s never lost his temper this bad with Hakyeon or Taekwoon before and he’s definitely never shouted at them.

Not like this.

But hadn’t Taekwoon deserved it? For doing all that horrible stuff? For lying to them about where he was getting the money from?

Then he remembers the look on Taekwoon’s face when Wonshik had shouted at him. He had looked… He had looked _hurt_ and that makes Wonshik’s heart clench painfully in his chest.

He scrubs at his eyes to keep fresh tears from falling, “this is fucked up.”

“It is.” Hakyeon agrees and, for once, he doesn’t call Wonshik out on his bad language.

“How long have you known?”

Hakyeon toys with the cup in front of him, “a couple of months.”

“And you didn’t try to stop him?”

“Of course I did.” Hakyeon tells him. “As soon as I worked out where he was getting the money from I tried to get him to stop. But we… we needed the money.”

“No, we didn’t.” Wonshik shakes his head. “We would have worked something out, we always have before.”

“You don’t… You don’t know how bad things were, do you?” Hakyeon sighs and leans back in his chair.

“I know we were close to getting kicked out of the apartment.” Wonshik says. “But so what? We would have found somewhere else.”

“We can’t afford anywhere else and no one would have taken us anyway, even if we did find somewhere in our price range. Not with our reputation for being constantly behind on rent and bills.” Hakyeon keeps his eyes trained on the table and it makes Wonshik feel uneasy. “But that’s not… I owe Insuk money. She’s been really good to us… She lent me the money to buy Hongbin and Sanghyuk’s school uniforms and she paid for the first couple of months of rent on this apartment, too, while we were still paying off what we owed on the last place. She takes the money out of my wage each week. That’s why my wage from the restaurant never seems to go very far.”

Wonshik frowns. He hadn’t known that.

“And then… I got a letter from the kids’ school.” Hakyeon says. “A few of the teachers were concerned with how underweight they were and they threated to call social services if things didn’t improve quickly.”

“What?” Wonshik’s blood turns to ice. “When was this?”

“When do you think it was?” Hakyeon asks.

Wonshik ducks his head because he knows the answer.

“Why can’t you get better jobs?” He asks.

“I can’t leave the restaurant, not while I owe Insuk money, and the only other job I can get to fit around that is one I already have. And Taekwoon- you know he didn’t get his diploma. A factory job is all he can hope for.”

“But we’re okay now, right?” Wonshik asks, feeling guilty and desperate. “We don’t need the extra money anymore.”

Hakyeon shakes his head, “Jaehwan wants to go to college. Even with a full scholarship we’d need money for all his books and travel and living how we did before- we would have never been able to save enough to afford that. We didn’t even have enough money to keep you guys fed never mind anything else.”

“So, it’s okay then?”

“No- no, of course it isn’t.” Hakyeon says quickly. “It makes me feel sick knowing what he’s doing because I know how much he hates it but I don’t… I don’t know what else to do.”

Wonshik hides his face in his hands so he doesn’t have to see the tears in Hakyeon’s eyes.

“Taekwoon is doing this because he loves us.” Hakyeon murmurs.

The same emotion as before flares in Wonshik’s chest but this time he recognises it for what it truly is.

Guilt.

“He’s been doing this for us for the last few months,” Wonshik starts, “so we could have new boots and coats and eat chicken and we’ve been horrible to him.”

“You didn’t know.” Hakyeon says.

“I let the kids do stuff I knew would get on his nerves and I bugged him about cooking for us even though I knew he was tired.” Wonshik admits. “And I started to hate him, too, because he was always in a bad mood and didn’t want to play with us. And he- all this time he was doing _that_ for us.”

“You owe him an apology.” Hakyeon tells him. “Not for that but for what you said and did earlier. That was out of line.”

“I know.” Wonshik says. “I thought I was mad but I’m not. I feel bad. I feel really bad. I don’t understand- why would he do that? Why would he let somebody touch him like that?”

“For us.”

“But I don’t want him to.” Wonshik says and, suddenly, he’s blinking back tears. “He told me he wants me to be happy but how can I be happy knowing what he’s doing? It’s hurting him.”

“I don’t know.” Hakyeon is honest. “I don’t know what we can do.”

They finish their teas before making their way back to the apartment and Wonshik doesn’t jerk away like he usually would when Hakyeon throws his arm over his shoulders. Instead he feels incredibly humbled. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve the love that Hakyeon gives him.

He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve any of what Hakyeon or Taekwoon have done for him.

They’d taken him under their wing when he’d arrived at the home, eight years old and reeling from the death of his parents. They had been the ones to get him up and dressed on a morning, took him to and from school and always made sure he had enough to eat even if it meant they went without. And as he got older he noticed the other things they did, too, things that Wonshik hadn’t really understood at the time, maybe doesn’t even really understand now. Like Hakyeon stepping between Wonshik and the other kids when the staff were looking for someone to beat and Taekwoon disappearing in the middle of the night with that one staff member who gave them all the creeps.

They’d made promises about taking them away from the home once Hakyeon turned eighteen, wove stories about all the things they would do and how good life would be when it was just the six of them, and they’d kept their word even when it would have been easier for them to leave them behind.

He doesn’t know if he’d be strong enough to do what Hakyeon and Taekwoon have done. He doubts it. He knows how hard it’s been and he’s just so thankful to Hakyeon and to Taekwoon for never giving up on them. On him. He knows he hasn’t always made their lives easier and he feels ashamed.

“We’re going to get through this.” Hakyeon tells him as he slides his key into the door to their apartment. “You’ll see.”

Jaehwan and the kids are in bed when they step inside but they’re not sleeping. Sanghyuk and Hongbin are clinging to each other and Jaehwan is staring at a book, his shoulders tense and his face pale.

Taekwoon is still in the chair at the table and he looks… He looks _broken_.

“Taekwoon.” Wonshik almost chokes on the word as tries to stop himself from sobbing. He doesn’t remember crossing the apartment but he must do because he’s throwing himself at Taekwoon before he even realises what he’s doing. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Taekwoon doesn’t say anything but he hugs Wonshik back just as fiercely as he’s being held.

“I’m sorry.” Taekwoon says after a minute and Wonshik realises he’s crying, too. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to see that- I didn’t want you to know.”

Wonshik doesn’t know what to say. There are no words that are going to make this better, magically fix things or take them back in time, but he tries anyway.

“We’re going to be okay.” He says it like a promise, like the ones Hakyeon and Taekwoon had made when they had all been kids. “The six of us- we’re family. We’ll help each other so you can stop… We’re going to be okay. Whatever happens. We’re going to be okay.”


End file.
